I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
