I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
