Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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