My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
