so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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