I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
