for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
