I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My bed smells like the plague
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
