help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
