Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize