In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
