the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
