I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
