I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
