I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
