dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
