she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
