Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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