i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
