pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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