I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
