Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
