No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
