There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
