he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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