so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
