think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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