Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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