And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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