I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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