i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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