i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
