Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
