So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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