i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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