did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
two words...techno handjob
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
