drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
