I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
