maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
