with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
