I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
