I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
