Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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