Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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