Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
