Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
