my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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