have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
