I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Panties = found
Randomize
