he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
