I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
