You made me cry and you don't even care
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
